She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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