so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
