I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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