I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
