is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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