Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
