He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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