Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
