His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I need a beard to bite.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
