Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
