if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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