Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
