Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
