Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
