I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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