You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize