I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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