dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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