My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
