i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
