My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
