I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
