Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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