When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
