Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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