there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
