do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize