it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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