Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize