i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
