For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
