Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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