In America we eat man semen.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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