In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize