Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
