I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We are two peas in an std pod
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
