I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
