It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
