Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I had to cum in my sink.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
