Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
