I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
