its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
