she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
