im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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