You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize