I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
