Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
