so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
