I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
