ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize
