We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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