Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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