Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
