Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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