you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
