i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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