I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
and you fell through a lawn chair
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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