yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
