I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
