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oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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