it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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